Underworld: Awakening Review

Well, the good news is I beat both Arkham City and Infamous 2.  The better news is that means I will stop playing video games and watch more movies and write more reviews.  (Better news for me at least)  The worst news, however, is that I decided to start it all out with Underworld: Awakening.

You see, I loved the first Underworld.  It came out of nowhere and created an entire mythos around vampires and lycans (werewolves) hunting each other down in a centuries long war.  It brought a modern medical slant to what caused these conditions, and it actually created some characters worth watching.  Really, you could just watch Kate Beckinsale in skin tight leather, but I am talking about the characters as well.

Right now I wish I could just write a review for that movie.  It is almost like the writers and directors said, “Hey, we are rebooting the franchise.  But we should try and repeat a lot of the same things from the first one.”  The problem with this is that instead of coming up with a complete story on its own, we get a story with a mishmash of things thrown together that don’t really make up a whole.  I didn’t feel like anything worked together in Underworld: Awakening.

The first challenge was darkness.  In the three previous films darkness was necessary for obvious reasons.  These are creatures of the night.  But you could see everything that was occurring.  It was Hollywood dark.  It is supposed to be night time, but you could see everything that was happening.  In Awakening, everything is black.  I saw this film in 2D.  I cannot even imagine what it would have looked like in 3D, where the glasses make the film even darker.  Seriously, how am I supposed to enjoy Kate Beckinsale’s butt, which is so lovingly wrapped in skin-tight leather when it is surrounded by black?

The next challenge was characters.  Seline (Kate Beckinsale) is already very established. Nothing in this film happened to grow her character.  Basically, she is a bad ass.  That is about it.  She fights people.  Good for her.  She protects this girl who just so happens to be her child.  Well that kind of came out of nowhere.  Things were just thrown in for no reason.  In the past films, you had to be made a vampire or lycan.  Now they can be born, and no one seems to notice this huge shift.

The villains were even more paper thin.  I will not spoil the reveal of who the villains actually are, although the movie does, but they are never given any motivation for what they are doing.  And the one motivation that is given doesn’t make sense.  SPOILER ALERT  Highlight for text:  If they want the girl so that they can study her and take her healing ability and immunity to silver, why do they keep Seline alive?  If they have Michael (a fully matured hybrid), why do they need the girl?)  End of Spoiler

Then there is the girl.  She vacillates between scared and crying to bad ass who can literally tear a skull in half.  She rips lycans apart, and then we are supposed to believe she would have a problem with the “boss fight” she has in the end.  This story just does not work when compared with itself.

My final problem with Underworld: Awakenings is the beginning.  We get a whole new world where humans have found out that there are vampires and lycans.  We are supposed to have this entirely fresh perspective on the story.  Then you never hear from the humans again.  In fact, the only human character who is in the movie is fighting with and for the vampires.  How could the entire world find out about vampires and lycans, have a massive war erupt between them in the middle of a city and then do nothing about it?

That is like being in Hell and never running across Satan.

In the end, I was supremely disappointed by Underworld: Awakening.  I am a big fan of the previous three films and even I could not find love for this movie.  Don’t go see this film.

Have you seen Underworld: Awakening?  Why?

One thought on “Underworld: Awakening Review

  1. When Kate Beckinsale picked me up hitch hiking I immediately fell in love with her, then she went all Selene on me and made me push her car ten miles when she ran out of gas. It was worth it just to see her in that suit with those boots and her big guns. God who was it that thought this franchise could survive without Kate. Kate is the hottest, sexiest and most beautiful woman on the silver screen today. I am not worthy.

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