Immortals Review

Tarsem Singh (the director) is a crazy dude.  I have not seen The Fall, but I have seen The Cell.  The crazy visuals from that film made me very excited for what was going to be on screen in a gods and titans epic.  The disturbing visuals from that film, however, made me apprehensive for what was to come in a film about an ancient world.  Really, I think that Immortals can be brought down to those two things: amazing and disturbing visuals.

The story kinda sort-of follows along with the ancient myths.  Hyperion (a bat-shit crazy Mickey Rourke) is angry at the gods, so he wants to release the titans in order to go to war with Zeus and his brethren.  In his quest to do so he kills Theseus’s (a very angry Henry Cavill) mother.  This pisses Theseus off and causes him to go after Hyperion.  Lots of fighting ensues.

The really cool things about Immortals are how Tarsem Singh chose to interpret the myths.  Hyperion has a mercenary of sorts who is huge and has decided to wear a bull’s head made out of steel and barbed wire.  This becomes the Minotaur that Theseus fought in legend.

The Oracle (Freida Pinto) is another great interpretation.  She is always surrounded by three others who could also be the Oracle.  They are in fact her smoke screen and her bodyguards.  She is an Oracle as long as she stays a virgin, but Theseus convinces her that the visions of the future she sees are a curse and so she chooses to rid herself of them by boinking Theseus.  (I point this out because they spend the entire film talking about how important it is that she is a virgin, and then she gets buck naked and hops on Superman.)

There is also quite a bit of disturbing imagery.  Hyperion is one sick individual played with seeming delight by Mickey Rourke.  He has people castrated (with a sledge hammer) to make sure that traitors don’t get to develop a lineage.  He boils people alive in hot grease, and these are just the beginning of what he does throughout this film.  Singh likes to show you most of this as well.

Talking about visuals though I do need to talk about the battle scenes.  Singh knows how to direct a beautiful battle.  If you are not a fan of slow-motion fight scenes you need to not worry about ever seeing Immortals.  But if you are like me and you like to see the deadly precision and immense power of your hero as he works his way through armies, then you will love Immortals.

But my favorite fights were with the gods.  There are a couple of different scenes where you get to see the power of the gods and these are truly spectacles of the highest nature.  It is almost like watching a moving painting, and the juxtaposition of such beauty next to the fact that that beauty is people being ripped in half or having their heads removed from their bodies is simply an amazing feat.

I did have two issues with Immortals, but both are small.  The first is Stephen Dorff.  He plays the comedic sidekick Stavros.  He did alright in this film, the problem is everything that Dorff brings with him.  He has been in so many terrible films and acted so terribly in them that I simply cannot take him seriously at this point.  Seriously, the guy was in Alone in the Dark and Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star.  I just can’t handle him.

The second, and I am sorry to say this, was Theseus’s rousing the troops speech.  The good news is that I don’t really think it was Henry Cavill’s fault.  I am pumped that we are getting a new Superman movie and I hope that he is a fantastic Superman at that, but this dialog was so horrible I don’t think it would have aroused porn stars on Viagra.  Just sad.

Overall, Immortals was a thoroughly entertaining film.  I did see this in 3D.  Although I do not think 3D is worth it most of the time, for these visuals I did think the clarity was a very cool thing to see.  If you can handle violence and are interested in a good action flick, go see Immortals.

What did you think of Immortals?  Let us know in the comments below.

~Ryan Lynch

4 thoughts on “Immortals Review

  1. It’s probably one of the best-looking films of the whole year (yet, I still haven’t seen Tree of Life) and the action is awesome and in-you-face which is something I always like. The story dragged on a bit and I couldn’t help but think that if the writing was a tweaked a little better, this would have definitely been a very solid film. Instead it was just fun and pretty to look at. Good review.

  2. I loved it. I thought the imagery was amazing and the interpretation of the story of Theseus was interesting. While parts of the storyline and dialouge were a bit lacking, overall I thought that Tarsem made up for that with stunning visual strength.
    Aside from the lackluster sidekick and fairly cheesy, pre-battle “pep-talk”, it was an hour and 50 minutes well spent drooling over all the pretty. 🙂

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