Fast Five Review

Have you ever wondered what it would look like if Vin Diesel were to get in a knock down, drag out fight with Dwayne Johnson?  Have you wondered if they would literally go through walls?  Would their two fists colliding have a worse impact than when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Mr. T at the same time T was pittying a fool?  (The result was the eighties.)

I honestly believe that having these two go head to head actually makes both of them badassier.  (I have just copyrighted that word.  Badassier, look at what you get at 47 Reviews!)

Mullet and handlebar mustache: BADASSIER!

That alone is worth the price of admission.  But then you get action that is impossible everywhere except for in your imagination and on the silver screen.  You get comedy you can actually laugh at.  You also get cars that you would seriously consider having sex with.  Plus, plenty of women that you would never need to consider.

What does considering even mean?

I am not ashamed to say that I have seen every Fast and Furious film.  I liked one as long as Paul Walker wasn’t on the screen.  Two was pretty hideous.  But I read recently that if you look at it as a gay buddy action flick, it is pretty entertaining.  So I am considering watching it again.  I was one of the few who actually liked Tokyo Drift, and I honestly have no memory of what happened in Fast & Furious.  So it wasn’t hard to talk me into checking this one out.  (And on a side note, this is how amazing my wife is: we saw this film the night of our one year wedding anniversary.  My life is good.)

Fast Five combines almost every single main character from all of these movies and even some of the smaller ones.   What I think is genius about this movie (yes, I did just start a sentence like that in a Fast and Furious movie review.)  is that they then take all of these characters and basically make an Ocean’s Eleven movie out of them.  Stop me if you have heard this before.  Bad guy jilts the protagonists.  Good guys assemble a large team to pull off an elaborate heist against said bad guy to steal 100 million dollars from him and screw him over.  I am pretty sure in Ocean’s Eleven it was 110 million, but it is still pretty close.

Yup, just like Ocean's Eleven...

Fast Five was a ridiculous movie that I thoroughly enjoyed watching.  My wife enjoyed it as well.  Also, stick around through the credits.  You will learn quite a bit about Fast Six and get some real chuckles if you have watched the previous films as well.

What did you think of Fast Five?  Let us know in the comments below.

~Ryan Lynch

One thought on “Fast Five Review

  1. You know, I had actually heard similarly good things about this movie… much to my surprise. I’ve only seen 1 and 2, but this won is apparently worth checking out.

Comments are closed.