Ted Review

I am not a huge Seth Macfarlane fan.  I enjoyed Family Guy when it first came out, but then every show had no point and just seemed like an excuse to make a weird pop culture reference.  I tried American Dad for about two episodes, but pretty much had the same complaints about it.  Which meant that I didn’t even give The Cleveland show a chance.

Prometheus Review

I will start with a spoiler warning. Much of this review is going to talk about pretty massive spoilers for the film.  So you should really only read on if you have already seen the film, or you don’t care about reading spoilers before seeing it.  If you fall into either of those camps, read on.  If not, you might want to come back after seeing Prometheus.

Men in Black 3 Review

I really did enjoy the original Men in Black. Will Smith was just coming into his own, and movie magic was good enough that everything was believable.  But then Men in Black 2 came out and it was essentially the exact same movie.  Beat for beat, almost the exact same things happened, but somehow it was much worse.  So I had mixed feelings going into MIB3.  I am happy to report that Men in Black 3 was able to come away as my favorite of the three.

The Avengers Review

Fuck. Yes.

Thlihaesli! lihlIHlHDBNkjd!  AHDIAOCNZ<AS!!!  Okay, sorry, sorry… I need to slow down my fingers.  I’m running on a super geek high right now, and it’s taking all my powers of concentration (not inconsiderable) to remain in a seated position in front of the computer.  I have a feeling that this review will be uncharacteristically short, but only because there’s only so much I want to say to you, dear readers, so as not to ruin anything you might see in the theater.

The Five-Year Engagement Review

The 5 Year Engagement starts where most romantic comedies end: at the proposal.  Usually you have two single people getting into awkward situations trying to figure each other out.  It works because you are not sure if it is going to work out (actually, you pretty much always know it is going to work out).  But you don’t have the investment level in their relationship, because they are just getting to know each other.  No commitment has been made.

John Carter (of Mars) Review

Okay, Disney… wow me.

Goddamn it, Disney!  I said WOW me!  What the hell was the budget on this movie?  Two hundred and fifty MILLION dollars??  You’d think with that kind of price tag attached, they could afford to just have Disney imagineers design some sort of brain washing device to convince me I thoroughly enjoyed their flick.  Well the rumor was floating around for weeks that the special effects laden, mega blockbuster was gonna be a mega bust, so I can’t say I was totally surprised by what I got for my matinee ticket price today.  And I’m not saying it was terrible.  I’m just saying it wasn’t $250 million bucks good.

The Vow Review

Channing Tatum’s ass.  That’s it.  That’s my review.  I really had every intention of just leaving my review there.  One delectable scene of pure ass bliss as Channing Tatum saunters from the couch he slept on in a trendy warehouse Chicago apartment to the bathroom he shares with his wife, who has no idea who he is.  The movie alone is worth seeing for those five beautiful seconds.  In fact, his ass was what brought me out of Bond Girl hiding to spend time penning my long anticipated second movie review for this website.

Wanderlust Review

See how it looks like they don’t really care? Neither will you.

We have Paul Rudd teaming back up with David Wain (who also wrote and directed Role Models) for a comedy with what seems to be a never ending list of comedians about life on a commune.  Oh, excuse me, intentional community.  I was pretty excited to see this one.  Now the questions is did it live up to the expectations set by Role Models?