I am writing this goddamn review. I have been trying to pick 47 Reviews back up for months now, and the admin page is a wasteland of half written reviews and broken dreams. But this one is happening. I didn’t make any Memorial Day plans, and now this is my penance. This is my destiny.
I went to go see the new G.I. Joe this morning in extravagant, eye-popping IMAX 3D glory, because if you’re gonna do something silly, you might as well go for broke. And to be perfectly honest, I wasn’t expecting much. It’s based on a insanely ridiculous cartoon from the 80s, and the first movie completely underwhelmed. Which I think is tough to do when your subject material is positively bursting with jet powered, laser blasting air tanks and larger-than-life American superheroes. So it’s exciting to announce that the sequel was actually a thrilling, edge of your seat, action blockbuster!*
From the first moment I laid eyes on the trailer for this movie, I was hooked. I would imagine many people had a similar reaction, a story pulling at emotional heart strings attached to such enjoyable and formative memories from childhood. I’m referring, of course, to video games. Every once in a while you feel like you belong to such a perfect demographic that it’s almost as though a movie was tailor made for you specifically. You swath yourself in the sartorial equivalent of a cinematic experience, enjoying each and every inside joke because you know the writers had your comedic measurements in mind when they wrote the thing. And that’s only part of the magic that “Wreck it Ralph” brings to the table.
I’ll be honest, I was going to see this movie no matter what. The premise was strong enough to hook me on its own merit. Joseph Gordon Levitt is an assassin who has to kill a time traveling version of himself played by Bruce Willis? I’ll take two tickets please: one for me, and one for my boner. But the best part about seeing this in the theater was the fact that this is actually a fantastic movie! Like I said, there is a strong draw based solely on the acting talent involved and a very cool concept, but as I was watching I found myself absolutely sucked into this world that writer/director Rian Johnson had created.
Wow! I was absolutely amazed by Dredd. This film did so many things right and it did them well. The action, the story, the visuals were all just dead on. Dredd uses 3D and slow motion in a way that makes sense and that really adds to the cinema experience. I am writing this with the hopes that I can talk all of you into going to see this film, because it so deserves to have sequels made. If you like action films at all and you can handle some solid gore, then you must go see Dredd.
I was very lucky growing up. Both of my parents are cinephiles and I got to go to tons of movies. The ones that I remember most were the ones that my father (and on occasion my mother) and I went to. I learned that one person could be badass enough to take on entire armies. One person could take on a skyscraper full of bad guys and curse like a sailor while doing it. Oh yeah, and you also got to have sex with beautiful women and crack jokes between jump spin kicks and taking on 1,000 people at once. These were my heroes.
I just don’t see why this movie was made. I really did not expect to walk out of the theater and go, “Ehh.” But that is exactly what I did. The Amazing Spider-Man was so repetitive, redundant, and redone that it really felt like a re-release. I walked away feeling like there was no need for me to have watched The Amazing Spider-Man.